IFS: An Introduction

Introducing myself through four songs, representing my life and personal experiences thus far. Who am I? Where am I from? What kind of life do I lead? What do I value?

1. Kansas: Miracles Out Of Nowhere (live)

I am a person of many questions... I love the idea of knowledge and the ability not only to acquire, but utilize it. Learning is my favorite activity.

"Here I am just waiting for a sign, asking questions, learning all the time," was a line that caught my attention from the first time I ever listened to this song. What is even more striking to me, however, is the phrase "it's just love, and miracles out of nowhere".

These past few years I have especially struggled with the idea of meaning and universal truth. This piece, I believe, is as close as I can get to agreeing on a universal truth...  I identify with the notion that all life, from any culture or place or time, is bound in the love shared throughout its lifetime. Familial love, the love of friends, romantic love... It all touches in a place much deeper than the surface.

Love gives each life that accepts and recognizes its presence a purpose:

to love and be loved. For it is through this love that worth is found, understanding is founded, and care is birthed.

And what else is life other than our own sentiments and memories and dreams intermingling with the occasional miracle out of nowhere?

2. Prague Philharmonic: Leaving Hogwarts

I come from good books, old friends, nights of card games and music-making, being alone but not lonely... And as an ongoing story myself, I come from stories.

This is one of my favorites. This piece reminds me of the first magical moments of belonging, having a family beyond my own. A family discoverable in words and the spaces between them.

Moving from Indianapolis, IN to Dublin, CA at the age of seven seems not quite that momentous, but it was a defining time in my life. This was a time when I learned how vital to my survival mere markings of ink on a page would be.
This was also a time of loss of innocence.

"Leaving Hogwarts" as a piece is two things to me: a preservation of that untainted joy and acknowledgement of its passing. It is all at once a memorial and a hope to discover this joy in new ways. I live by attempting to reincarnate the happiness that once was, for me and all whose stories I am graced to encounter.

3. The Civil Wars' live cover of The Smashing Pumpkin's: Disarm

No matter what amount of passion/happiness one carries themselves with, there will always be those who do not understand and react not in kind, but with vicious intent. Much of my life has involved time with the aforementioned type of people, and I am not naïve enough to expect them to one day disappear. A darker, more serious part of myself I have those people (genuinely, I mean this) to thank.

I am not as trusting as I once was, but I personally believe that any sadness in life deepens one's capacity for happiness and understanding. This song was--and is--such an emotional piece for me to experience. The Smashing Pumpkin's original lyrics moved me to tears when I first heard this with the more sensitive ears of a young adult. The haunting harmonies added by Joy and and John of The Civil Wars only add to the potency of the words sung.

"I used to be a little boy, so old in my shoes," was a line that felt as though I'd written it (minus the "boy" description x). As well as "the killer in me is the killer in you, my love / I send this smile over to you", which I interpreted to mean that each person has the power to wound, to kill, but the importance is what is done with that power. Relating to a separate quote... "The great charm of all power is modesty," from Louisa May Alcott's Little Women. The great charm of any power is to use it with humility, considering the selves and feelings of others.

4. The Four Tops: Sugar Pie Honey Bunch (Can't Help Myself)

This is a song from one of the oldest memories I have... Just being happy, dancing around as a three/four-year-old with my Dad... And this song, no matter when or where I hear it, brings me back to that memory. Not only is the sound of this song a powerful index for me, but I feel it represents the part of myself that is joyful, inquisitive, and hopeful. I value lives lead through positivity such as this, I admire and look up to it immensely.

While my life has not always been encouraging or happy, this song is at the core of who I am, because it embodies the best of where I've been.

Who I am is more than these four songs, but the combination of the four hand-in-hand: happy to sad to broken to hopeful, is a holistic approach as an introduction.

-Krista Schaarschmidt